Things Changes...

Today I was thinking about changes we all go through in life...I don't know why I was thinking of that, but it started me on a thought... and the thought is that we as humans never stay the same. 

We are always changing, growing, and learning something different every single day of our lives. Who we are today, will not be the exact same person as tomorrow. And as we keep living our lives...we keep changing, and we keep becoming...DIFFERENT...

...And I love that. I love knowing that when I look back at myself next week, and see who I was right now, I would be just a little bit different, and hopefully a little bit smarter. =) So....knowing that we all change,


and that our lives will move right along with the ticking time...why are we always so worried about the tiny little things that make our lives more difficult then they should?? 

I know as a girl, I always worry about embarrassing myself, or doing something stupid in front of other people, or sometimes just being the true weird me, and being afraid that someone is going to judge me for it! (I mean..come on! it happens right???...)

I mean, it might just be me, but those are serious legit tiny little things that I worry about all the time, and really, when it comes down to it, those tiny moments that I am so afraid would ruin my life forever, doesn't really actually matter that much..because guess what?? I am going to change, and I am going to get smarter, and those tiny moments that make me blush and think that 'my life is over' would be long forgotten by the time my life is actually over. (thank goodness...haha) 

So, you might be asking me why does this even matter? Where am I going with this?? Well, to be honest, I don't really know. But I do know that lately, I have been bothered and annoyed by all of those nonsense little things that seems to be crossing my path! Every single time an unplanned event pop up in my life, I just completely loose track of the big picture, and forget that just because one little thing has ruined my day, it has not ruined my life. 

My life will change, and 10 years from now, all of those things I have been angry at this week, won't even leave a little dent in my life! I won't care if a car cut me off and passed me on the street, and I won't even remember the cash register guy at the grocery store taking longer then 5 minutes to check me out, or even that random guy on campus that push the door into my face! All of those are little things, and as time goes on, and as I keep changing, and my views becoming different, those small events won't even leave a dent into what my life will become. 

Now, I don't want you to mistake that the everyday things that we learn in our lives won't affect us. Because they do. All the knowledge we get, and things we learn will affect us to be the person we will be in the future. Everything we go through shape who we are, but those tiny little nonsense things that we always worry about...well, those don't matter. All they do is make us upset and angry. They don't bring us joy, or teach us many valuable lessons...other then maybe gaining some patience...and well...I guess that is important too..but that is for another day...

So...lets do something different the next time an annoying event cross our paths. Lets remember that no matter how annoying the situation is, it is okay. All you have to do its to get over it, and fix whatever problem there is. There is no reason to get angry because of a stupid comment someone made about us or our family, or us being silly and forgetting something at work or at home...because in the long run..those little things wont' affect the changes we will all go through as human beings. 

We are the only ones that can control our future, along with our loving Heavenly Father. Time will always be moving on, and we can't stop it. WE learn every day, and change every day. And that is good. That is part of the joy in life. And we should never forget that. We should be stronger and happier, and not let those little things bring us down...because really...in the long run, they will mean nothing compare to all the improvements and things we have accomplished in our lives...

So I rather choose to be happy and grateful for all the things I have in my life. I am going to try my best next time when something annoying comes along to just be happy, and remember that no matter what it is, it won't change me..it will just make me angry..and I don't want to be angry! I want to be different!!! I am going to try my best to enjoy my life to the best of my ability!!! And I hope you are going to also! 

Try your best to remember that no matter what happens, things will change, and who we are today, won't be who we are 6 months from now.....so just stop worrying about all those little annoying things, and focus on the happiness of life, and see the big picture! I know it doesn't sound easy, and trust me, it's not! But if you really put your heart to it, and just remember to always keep the happiness in your heart, your life would be so much happier and care free!!! =) Just try it! I promise you won't regret it! And at last, try your best, to be your best! Because as always, I am!!! 

Thanks for reading!!! 

Love,
Q2

That one great friend..

You know that phrase?? The one that everybody always groan at, and roll their eyes toward, but deep down inside, they know it's true? Come on, you know the one I am talking about. The one that goes, 

"Everything happens for a reason, you just have to wait and see why..." 

I don't know about you, but that quote always makes me kind of impatient and annoyed...even though I know it is true with all my heart. I have seen it played out, over and over again. The problem isn't that I don't trust or believe in it, the problem is in the waiting part. I don't have patience, and everybody that knows me can tell you that. So even though I know it is true, sometimes the waiting part just gets the better of me. 

There are times when I don't even want to wait anymore and start to sulk around, not really caring. I don't want to care, because I am done waiting. I just want to know the answer, and the more impatient I get, the more agitated I get. And sometimes, that can turn out to be real bad, bad enough that my impatients starts to get on other people nerves too. And that is the moment when I get my much needed wake up call... 

The moment when everybody around me just look at me and stare, with all the same expression. The expression of "Geez Q, just calm down will you??"  (haha...) They tell me that time over time, reminding me that everything is going to turn out fine, and that no matter what I was experiencing, there will be a reason for it in the end. All my friends and family around me will do their best to be patient towards me, and to remind me they still love me and care about me. And in the end, that is really all that matters right? Support and love?.. =) 

But you know what the most amazing thing is?? The most amazing thing about this is the moment when your brian is finally focused, and your eyes are cleared...that moment when everything falls back in perspective, and you see the complete bliss's you actually have in front of you. Yes, maybe you don't have the answer you are looking for, and yes, maybe you don't really know where to go still, but that doesn't matter. Because you have something that is worth so so so much more. 

You have your support system, full of people that loves and strengthen you. Your parents who never gave up on you; who always told you to keep going and pushing. Your sister/brother that has never left your side, who has hold your hand and hug you whenever you needed. Your friends who would drop everything without a second hesitation, and just be where you need them. All of these people were there for me, whenever I needed, wherever I needed, waiting until I came back to being myself. (which believe me...it took a while....)

Okay, now I know you guys must all be thinking about why in the world I am even talking about this. Well, let me tell you...

Lately, I have been going through one of those exact phase. I had something kind of traumatic happen, and it totally threw me back, and shock me, almost to the core. (almost...haha) I had one of those moments where I was just so done in waiting for the answer, or even caring about the reason behind it. I didn't see, or I guess want to see the lesson that this trial was trying to teach me. I started to get really down on myself, and I literally stopped caring. 

I was constantly complaining, and grumpy. My conversations never seemed to end well, and eventually, I started to see that Look. The look from everybody. Even strait down to my co-workers. But even that didn't stop me. It didn't snap me back.  Until one day...

That one day when it finally got enough for one of my closest friend. That friend that has always been there for me, but finally just had enough. I blew up at her for absolutely no good reason, and it really didn't end well. We were both angry, and I thought I had every single right to be. I didn't see what was wrong, and I didn't want to see. I was just sooooo mad. I didn't realize it at that time, but my true anger wasn't coming from her, and the small issue we were fighting over wasn't the issue either.....

No, I never told her this (that is why I am writing it now...), but it was over something deep inside me. Something I still don't understand completely, but something I realize that was affecting my emotional behavior. Something that just completely knock me over the edge, and gave such a immature performance towards this wonderful friend of mine. 

I don't know the exact moment when I realize this simple truth. The truth about the true origin of my anger. It might have been after this good friend and I talked, and worked things out. It might be at the moment when I lay down in bed, and thought over my day, or even the moment when we laughed and had fun with each other for the first time since after the fight. I don't know...but I do know the truth of what I saw...and it was a beautiful truth that almost took my breath away.. 

It was the truth of how this friend truly loves me. She truly cared for me, and haven't given up on me. She was there, even when I was angry at her for no reason. She stood there, and the last thing she said to me before we ended the fight was "i love you..." After I had yelled at her for a full 15 minutes for something so minor, she had the heart and love to tell me that she loves me! I mean...it was something that completely shocked me! It took me a couple seconds, but I finally reply it back to her, but it seemed like minutes. It was in that moment when I saw the truth of my own love.

I do love this wonderful friend. She means so much to me, and she really has been through so much because of me, and has been through so much with me. She hasn't given up on me, like so many other people had. She was there, and even in my most unreasonable moment, she still loved me. Sitting across from her everyday after our argument has reminded me of that. It also reminds me of a greater love. The lover our Savior has for us. Her behavior that day showed so much of the Christ-like love. She didn't have a good reason to care for me, but she did, just as the Savior does for every one of us, each and every day. 

He knows us, and he understands us. And sometimes, He knows we get impatient or angry, or even mean. We make mistakes, and we become unreasonable, just like human mortals do. But the amazing part is that He understands, and He doesn't care. He might be a little disappointed for a while, but the Savior will always forgive us if we realize our own wrong doings, and repent. No matter what happens, He always will give us unconditional love. He is the only one in the world that truly and completely understands what we are going through, and why we did what we did; so therefore, He is also the only person that can save us with infinite grace and love. 

Isn't that just completely amazing?? I love that truth, and I am so grateful to have it in my life. I am also soooo grateful for such a good friend of mine that understands it too, and who was a big enough person to show that unconditional love towards me. I am writing this blog for me, but just as much for her to know that no matter what, I will always remember that moment, when she became such a great example of the Saviors love, and gave my back the clarity, and calmness I needed. 

Now, you might ask do I know what I need to know now? Has the answer been given to me? No. Am I still a little impatient? Yes. But that is okay. Why? It's because of my great friend that has helped me gained my clarity back. I am back on track, and I know that no matter what happens, everything will be OKAY. =) don't you dare groan.... 

So, the take home message for you is that I know life is tough. I know there are things that test our patience, and fog our clarity. And it is during those times when we start to get off track a little. But those are the moments we need to stay strong the most. Look around you, and realize the support system you have. Rely on them, and trust in them. And then in return, be part of a support system yourself. Give strength to others, and show them unconditional love just as my friend gave to me. You don't know what impact that can have.. It can change..well, everything. 

Keep trying your best to show unconditional love like our Savior, and to stay patient and clear minded. Don't get off track, but it is oka if you do! Just hurry and find your way back! =) I love you guys so much, and thanks so much for reading this very long post! haha.. 

Remember! Try your best to be your best!!! 

Love,

Q

something on my mind....

You know that moment when you realize that there's something on your mind for the longest time, but you don't exactly know what it is? And that thought or thing just keeps popping up in your mind over and over again, making it so hard for you to focus on things you actually get to do?? It gets pretty annoying, doesn't it? Well, if you answered yes to that question, I will have you know that my answer will be exactly like yours.

Now...why am I going on this whole tangent about annoying things in your mind? Well, let me tell you. Lately, I have many concerns in my mind that keeps bothering me, and keeps popping up that won't leave me alone! One day in class, I realize that I have just been zoning for 30 mins, thinking and wondering about things, and completely, totally not getting anything out of it except an F in my next school assignment. haha...

Okay...so that wasn't really funny...you know why it wasn't funny? It is because it wasn't the first time it has happened that day, but like the 10th time. I couldn't understand what I keep getting distracted...and it was really frustrating. But through all that frustration, my luck started changing. And it started changing by me walking into my New Testament class.

Once class started, everything around me started to fade away, because the first principle my professor started to talk about was the fact of our lovely wondering minds. He said that a wondering mind means there is something more there to worry and ponder about that is worth more then beating yourself over. He said when the mind wonders, it is subconsciously telling you something you should be acting on. He told us that rather then worrying about the wondering thoughts, and silly worries in your mind, and to take them to the Lord instead. The Lord, he said will calm your mind, and will direct you to find a answer to you question, and worries within your brain. =) 

So...guess what I did instead of beating myself up for a wondering mind?? I went and I ponder about it. I thought hard about what was in my mind, and I looked nside me to find what I needed to know so once again I will be able to pay attention to class and work. As soon as the lesson was over that day, I went home, and I turned my problems towards the Lord, and ask him what needed to be done.

I ask him what is needed to be done, and what he will have me do so I can understand what my wondering mind was actually trying to tell me. By the end of my pondering session, I realize all along why I felt the way I did, and what I needed to do to solve my worries. But what I really needed was the Spirit and guidance of the Lord to push me along, and show me the way. And that is what He exactly did. He loves me, and he wants me to be the best I can. As I turn my wondering thoughts to Him, he puts it back into the place I need it the most, and give me answers. I love that! Because by that realization, I know that He loves me, and he always have, and always will.

I hope you guys will take that realization also, and turn to him when you have a wondering mind! Because I promise you, you won't regret it!

Try your best to be your best!

love,
Q

Relationships...

So, here I am, sitting on my bed, not being able to fall asleep. I haven't had this feeling in a while, but right now, I just really, really need to share my opinions about the world. Well, more specifically about the social norms in our Brigham Young University world. 

Okay, not to dis on BYU, because i love it tremendously, but I mean seriously?? Who ever said that 20 was too old to be single?? I mean what the heck is that? I hear girls all the time, and they are like "Oh...look at me, I am 20, and I am so old and pathetic because I am single....hahaha..." I am totally not joking...those are the exact words that comes out, and I hear that sentence like every single day of my life, and sometimes, sadly, those exact words come out of my mouth! (I don't know what has gotten into me lately....=P)

 I mean, come on people...how in the world did being single and living life like a regular college student became a bad thing? Why is it that the social norms around here is that you have to be dating somebody, or be engaged, or even have dates to be cool? I hear conversations all the time around campus that sounds something like, "Man, all of my roommates are on dates, and I am just so boring and not cool because I sit home all day and do homework...!" 

Okay, reality check guys, having dates are not the things that makes you successful in life, homework and education is! If you don't get that concept, then I am sorry, because you are paying over 2000$ for tuition to get an education, and not a husband or wife!!! I might be sounding harsh, but that is the total truth....value your money, and your time in college to learn, so you can secure a better future, and a husband/wife to go with that beautiful future! That should be your goal, not how many dates you can get in the same week!

Also, another thing that is bugging me way too much about relationships is all the mind games that goes with them! When did falling in love become such a complicated thing? Why are guys and gals always second guessing themselves with how they look, or what the other thinks of them, or if their response is witty enough? Or the unbelievably long and complicated process of getting the first date because of all the different questions, and silly things we have to think about and analyze first before it becomes 'acceptable' to date someone?

I mean, doesn't that get tiring?! If they really like you, they wouldn't really care if you put too much emoticons in your text, or how silly you might of sound then! Being in a relationships isn't about who is better with words, or who sounds smoother with a pick up line! It is about liking that person, and wanting to learn more, and spend more time with that person. It's about truly, and completely falling in love with their personality, and not their usage of English words, or how good they are with mind games, and their ability to guess your thoughts!

I so miss all of those childhood times where you just watch Disney, and you watch the princess and prince Chraming fall in love so easily, and effortlessly. Before the times where you have to worry about the differences between a winky smiley face, and a regular smiley face..and talking with your roommates.like...

"OMG!!!! He gave me a winky face!!! That is so good....right? Oh wait...what if that was like a typo...or if it means completely something different? ahhhh!! now I am so confused!!" 

(because that is wayyyyy more important then the conversation itself...)

I don't know how, or when, but suddenly, relationships just became too complicated, and nit picky for me. I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to think for hours of what to say to a guy, or the problem of if I should text him first or wait for him..., or even the fact that he doesn't use enough emoticons in our text and conversations. That to me, is completely irrelevant, because liking a guy, and being in a relationship should matter on real emotions, and real personality. The feeling of falling in love should be something that can't ever be describe over a text, or a phone conversation. It should be a feeling that you will never forget, one that completely knocks you over your feet. 

 

Love should be about knowing, and loving every single part about your significant other. It's about laughing at all the silly things that you both say without really thinking about it because you don't really care about what the other person thought about the text, all you care is about the person themselves, and the fun times you have with them. It should be about making memories that will never be forgotten, and will be cherished forever. 

Relationships should be about going on silly and fun dates that enhance the experience with each other, not the quality of the meal that was provided, or if things were perfect enough or not, because if you truly care about that other and enjoy being around them, the date will be perfect regardless or anything else. It is about building trust towards each other without all of the mind games, and one day taking that leap to become husbands and wife for eternity through the blessings of the Temple. =)Although what I am saying today is most likely not true for other parts of the world, or in different college campuses, but it completely applies to BYU, and I am here, officially say that I disprove of it! 

Being 20 really shouldn't be about going on all the dates you can, and worrying about who you are going to marry. It shouldn't be a time where you get upset at yourself because you are single, and think you are pathetic, because you are not! To all the girls and guys out there that might read this and think that they are, stop it! Being single at 20 is completely normal, because in the real world, having a husband/wife is a great thing, but having a good education and career is a even better thing. Don't worry about having not enough dates, or not enough texts from boys! Spend that energy doing your best in school, and I promise that one day, that one Flynn Rider or Rapunzel will appear in your life, not because of your ability in sending a good text, or ability to play good mind games, but by the glow of your knowledge, personality, and genuine character! 

Okay...now that I have said all of that, I feel a whole lot better. I hope to anyone that is reading this, that I didn't offend you. If I did, I apologize, but I won't change my opinions or thoughts about this topic. I feel so strongly about it, I really hope someone will read this, and realize a true meaning of relationships besides the hour long conversations over text, and the forever long mind games that they play. Coming to BYU should be about our education, and living a college students life, learning lessons, and making memories of our own that will shape us and define us. Being single and 20 is a wonderful thing, and it is the prime time to make yourself a better person, with skills and education to later find that one perfect man who will knock you off your feet, and be with you for the rest of your life.

So go!!!

Live your life!

Have fun, and stop feeling pathetic because you don't have a date tonight! Just dance, run around, and be happy! That, my friend, is what life, college, and relationships should be about! It should be you making your own memories, learning your own lessons, and finding that one person that don't care about all the dramas of the social norms, but one who truly cares about you, and loves you for exactly who you are.

Try your best to be your best! Because, as always, I am! Have a good week, and remember, being single isn't pathetic!!!

Love,
Q2!

Just stop worrying about the world...

I have came up with a conclusion lately about life...and that conclusion is to just not worry about life. 

I mean, there are always going to be stresses, and unfortunate events in our lives, like a dead computer, or a wreck car, or ever cancer. Those things sucks, and life might seem horrible around those hard and trying times, but in the end, everything will be okay. 

I know that is such a cliche saying, and whenever you hear that you just want to groan, and scream "why" on the top of your lungs and just throw a temper tantrum....but other then that being completely immature, and not helpful, it would just be a waste of time and energy...you know why? Because the Lord above knows all, and he controls all, and he is in every single part of our lives.

The Lord above has given us everything...right down to our little toe nails and finger nails, and in turn, he can guide where our lives are suppose to go. In my New Testament class today, we were talking about how the Lord can control our situations, and with everything, he will bring us out of that bad situation, and into something better, but only at his timing. Our own jobs is to live faithfully, and to always trust that no matter how hard life gets, there is always a way out. We have to enjoy life, and we have to live it to the best of our abilities...that is one of the main reason why we are on Earth today, to prove ourselves to be a true sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. 

So in the mean time, before we get to the end of our journey in this life, we should just not worry, and have fun in our lives. Spend some time going crazy with your roommate because of a boy crush, or go out and run in the rain and snow, because it is completely crazy and unreasonable. Go to school and work, and just have fun with your friends and co-workers, laughing at life, and making fun of silly things, because really, what else is there better to do? haha... 

So, I mean, this is a very simple and silly post, but the point is very simple also. DONT WORRY ABOUT LIFE! Everything will work out, if you just let the Lord guide you and protect you. He is in everything, and he knows everything. Just remember that, and I promise this world will become a lot simpler, and happier, and easier to you! 

Anyways, that is all I have to say today. =) Hope you guys have a great week! Try your best to be your best, because as always, I am! =) 

Love,
Q2

The Knowledge with one word....

Week 2 - 

Hey my friends, so...ready for another preaching session from me? Haha....I bet you are! Here goes...

You know those moments when you feel a prompting, but aren't exactly sure if it was the Spirit or not? Sometimes you doubt what your heart is telling you because you just don't know for sure if it is what you are suppose to do, or what you want to do, right?? I might be the only weird one, but I sure get that feeling a lot. A lot of the time, even when I do feel the spirit, I don't actually acknowledge it the first moment...I have to wait over and over again for the spirit to manifest itself, and by then, it's too late. 

But I mean, what can we do to know for certain that what we are feeling is the spirit, and the prompting of the Lord?? How can we react on the first moment, instead of doubting over and over again until its too late? I didn't know how for sure until my lesson in my NT class in Acts, ch.9, vs.10. 

In that chapter, Saul (of Paul) has just seen the light of the Lord, and heard the voice of the Redeeming Christ, asking him why he was persecuting all of Christ's children, the believers in Christianity. After that encounter, and of Paul's repentance, they were sent unto the city of Damascus. 

Now, here is the main part of the lesson today. When Paul was heading towards his journey in the beginning  he was carrying letters to Damascus to arrest all the people of Christian faith, and send them to prison, or even to their deaths. Within that city was a man and a priest named Ananias. He was a very faithful, and wonderful man of the faith, and very in tune with the spirit. In Vs. 10 of Ch. 9, the Lord came to him, and all he had to say was one word: Ananias. Without a second of a doubt, Ananias stood, and said, "I am Here Lord." 

Without a second of a doubt, Ananias knew that it was the Lord calling him, and asking for his help. Ananias didn't have to think twice, he just stood up and answer the Lord, always ready to listen to Him, and do as He asks. Isn't that just amazing? This one mortal man, who has devoted his life to the Church, was so in tune to the Lord that just by one call of his name, and one spark of the spirit, he knew it was the Lord, and he was ready to answer and be at his service. 

So looking back at our lives, isn't the answer that we proposed before just answered? The spirit is always here with us if we are faithful, but that isn't the key. The key is if we are ready to listen to the spirit or not. The key is to be in tune, always and forever to what the spirit, or the Lord has to tell us. We should always strive to be like Ananias, where no matter what is happening, or how hard life is, we are ready to answer to the Lord in the manner of just one word, and be ready to answer, "yes Lord, I am here." 

There are always hard choices in life. There are always times where we are searching for the answers, but never seem to find them. I know because I have been through so much of those times, and I wish I was more in tune to the spirit like Ananias, and listened to the spirit that was always there to guide me and strengthen me. I know that if each and every one of us strive to be better, and more in tune with the spirit, we won't have those times where we rock back and forth from decisions, or be doubtful of what the spirit is actually trying to tell us. If we strive to be better, we will be able to stand up and and "yes Lord, I am here," on the very first prompting from the Gift that should be so dear to us. I know this to be true, and I am striving every day to be able to be like Ananias, and answer without a shadow of doubt to the Lord, from the very first moment he asks of me. 

Try your best, to be your best, as always! 

love,
Q2

The Lord's own timing....

So, it's been a while since I have posted anything huh?? 

Well, first let me apologize for being lazy, and incompetent in my blogging skills lately, and I promise that I will start doing better from now on. =)

Second, I decided that each week to keep up with my blogging, I will put out an inspirational post for everyone who still reads my blog. haha... I am currently in a New Testament class for school, and the teacher is just so amazing in his words, and teachings. Every single class inspires me to be better, and do better, and always teaches me a lesson that I know will make me a better person for the rest of my life. 

So, instead of keeping those valuable lessons within myself, I decided to share it with the rest of the world.

Sometimes in life, we wonder why things are so hard. We wonder why we have spent so many nights on our knees asking for answers, and blessings, but they still haven't come.  Sometimes things get so dark that we begin to get jealous of others that seems to be having more blessings then we are. It is during those times when we have to remember that the Lord Jesus Christ and our loving Heavenly Father knows all that is going to happen.

In Acts Chapter 3 of the New Testament, there is a parable about a layman. Day after days, years after years he sat by the gates of the temple mount. It was within those exact years  that Jesus was preforming his mortal ministry. Now...think about it. How many times must have the Layman watch Jesus preform miracles of healing for the blind and the disease? How many time must he have thought to himself, "what is wrong with me? Why can't I be healed?" Also, another point, think about what must have been within Jesus' mind when he sees that layman sitting there by the temple gate, thinking about that poor layman that will one day serve a bigger purpose then he knows. This one cripple man, older then the age of 40, will one day become the instrument for the Lord to bring  1500 men unto the gospel.

Now, here is the coolest part of the parable. After Jesus' resurrection and ascension up into Heaven, Peter and John continued their way to preach the gospel to the Jews. Their daily route includes a trip to the temple grounds right at the praying hour. As they were climbing the grand staircase up to the temple grounds that day, the Layman put out his hands, and all he asked for was some alms. 

Now Peter, poor and rich-less, said unto the Layman "Gold and Silver I have none, but I say until you, rise, stand, and walk." Now, again, I ask you to think...this man who haven't use his legs all 40+ years of his life, they must be disgusting and deformed. But as Peter reaches his hand down to pull the layman up, his feet was filled with strength, and up he went skipping into the temple grounds, singing with joy, and praising the Lord. This man that hasn't walked his whole life, who has been wondering through all his years why he wasn't healed by the Lord himself, was finally walking, and for the first time entering the holy grounds of the temple. This miracle for him that happened out of the blew, beyond his imagination of timing, completely changed him, and everyone that saw him walk on that very day. Because of his faith, he himself brought another 1500 Jews into the gospel. 

I guess the moral of the story is that yes, we have trials, and yes, we have questions. Sometimes...well most of the times we ask those questions, and expect to get an anser but never do. Sometimes that answer isn't what we want, or expected. And the truth is....it doesn't matter! The Lord knows it all, and he preforms his miracles and gives his answers according to his own time. He knows what is in store for all of us, and he knows what we are capable of even if we don't. So next time when you want to ask the question why....stop for a moment, remember of his all knowing power, and ask instead 'what.' 

Ask him what you can do for Him, and what you can do for other children of God. Ask him What you must do to become better, to be that child of God he knows you are. Instead of wanting to know of the instruments of God, become the instrument of Him. =) Trust in his timing, and trust in his love, because no matter what, he will help us, guide us, and answer all our questions. I know this for the truth, and I love it with all my heart. 

Once again, Try your best to be your best! =) I love you guys~ 

love,
Q2

Something I wish I can do in the future....

So at my new job as an CNA, I have already learned so much. I started this job a month ago, and it feels like i have learned enough for it to be 3 months. But one of the biggest things I learned isn't actually from the duties of my job, but from the people I serve in my job: 

The Residents.  

I have so many residents at my work that are so cute, happy, and positive all the time. Everyone of them will always stop and say hi, or give you a high five if you ask for one. They love every one, even though most of them don't have anyone in their lives anymore...or at least, not regularly to be there with them, and take care of them. That is one of the biggest reasons of why so many residents are there. So given that image, shouldn't they all be kind of sad, mean, and boring? But thankfully...that is not the case at all! Not at all! 

Everyday I have to wake up at 5 AM, and everyone that knows me knows I am soooo not a morning person, but yet...I wake up anyways. As I walk into the building and clock in, I always resent that I am there working, but you got to do what you got to do right? heehee...

And trust me, the work isn't easy... I mean, i don't want to get sympathy from you all, but the work is actually very hard. Physically, and mentally. When you work in healthcare, your main job is to try and please everyone. You supervisors, co-workers, and especially your residents. But as we all know...trying to please every one is just basically impossible. But that is my job...fighting against the impossibility of life. =) 

Most of the residents in resting homes don't really want to be there you know. Some hate it. Some just don't have a choice anymore. But even though most of them wish they were some place else, they all still have SUCH a great and positive attitude towards everyone. Which makes fighting against the impossible mission just a little bit easier! 

Every single one of the residents have their own sad story, and why they are there. They have all lived so different lives then the one I am living. But when I go to work and serve them, they are actually educating me right back, even more then I have realized!! 

I always thought I was a happy person for most of the time! I make sure that I never give up in anything that I do, and I always try my best, no matter how hard, difficult and impossible the task seems. I just keep going. And I thought I was really good at staying positive...

But after starting this job, I realize that I have so much more to improve on and do. I mean, after working for a couple of days, I started thinking.. If I had a stroke, and can't ever walk again, I think I will just pretty much be a bum, and be angry for the rest of my life. If I lost my arm, I don't think I could live and be a happy person anymore, because I basically won't be able to do the thing I love most: Music. If my family just left me at a resting home to die, I think I will make every day a torture, for myself, and all the other people around me. I mean..what else is there to do right? I don't know what you would do...but I can tell you what my residents do..

They don't care! They put a smile on their faces, and keep going on in life! They wake up every morning with a positive attitude, ready for another day with all their friends in the facility. They see me coming into the door, and they ask ME how I am doing..rather then just letting me ask all the questions and do all the work. They tell me stories, and they make me laugh. When they see that I am upset, they will try to make things easier for me to do. They are there to also love ME back, and make me happier. 

I think that is just incredible. I don't know if I will ever be able to do that...but I really hope someday I can be just like them. If I do have to live in a resting home, I hope that I can be the most positive and helpful one there. 

But on a closer level, in my current day to day life, I just want to always be positive like them. I want to learn how to always have a smile, and keep going on with life the best I can even when I am having a crazy difficult life. I want to be able to always, always, always remember the positive and happy things in life, and just believe that no matter what happens now, tomorrow, or a year from now...everything will still be okay! Because looking back on my residents, and seeing that they are also so okay, and so happy, I just know if I try my best, in no matter what situation I am in, everything will be okay for me too. =) 

Oh...and another thing. If you couldn't already tell from this post that I just really love my job...I am here to tell you...I FREAKING LOVE MY NEW JOB!!! =) It is so satisfying to know that I can go to my job, and make such a difference for the people there! I mean...for everyone. The nurses, co-workers, supervisors, and most definitely, the lovely, happy, and awesome residents. It's a hard job...but I am so thankful for it, and it's making such a better person! And yes...soooooo grateful and happy to have this job. That's all!! 

Anyways...as always! Try your best, to be your best! And this time...just try to be happier, and a whole lot more positive. Just always remember...everything will be okay! Do your best in whatever you set your heart out to do! Because as always....i am! =) 

Love,
Q2

The answer to our questions....

Well, life has been so crazy for me lately..just when I thought my life was where it suppose to be, something else came up and messed it all up again...which isn't a bad thing, but it did make me think about how things just fall into our lives....

All the time in our lives, every single day, within the 24 hours, or minutes, or seconds...many things happen. So many things just seem to come into our lives, affect it, and change it forever. Sometimes the changes are hard, and tough...but sometimes, the changes are something we have been waiting for a long time, and at that sudden moment..it just fell into place perfectly. 

And those are events that have been enlightening me the most. The events that seem to put everything in perfect perspective, aren't those the same one that make us so thankful and grateful for everything in life? Aren't those the ones that stop us in the middle of whatever we are doing, and actually think about what has happened to bring all the pieces so perfectly together? 

I don't know about you, but that is how I have been feeling lately...after such a long time of confusion and heartache, it finally feels like things are finally starting to work again. The confusion is starting to clear, and the road is starting to straiten. Finally....there is some peace in my life...and that has brought me to a realization...

So many times in life we complain about the hard things, the bad things, and all the annoying things we have to deal with. We forget to appreciate the things we have, and the wonderful plan that is in progress without us even knowing it...

I know each and every one of us has at least asked this question once in our lives~ "Why??!!" "Why do I have to go through this?", or "Why is life being so hard on me?"...or questions like that. I mean, it's hard not to when things in life are just so dang hard. But most of the time, even though we ask those questions and get some answers, it is usually not the answer we want...or expect. So guess how we react to that? We keep on asking the same old question.."why?!"

But what if for once...we stopped asking the question "Why?", and just keep pushing on. What if we just keep living life as it come at us, and trust that everything will be okay? Sometimes..even though we feel that life is too hard, and just want it to change at that exact moment, we have to remember that there is a PLAN in place. A plan so amazing, so complex, and so heavenly spiritual, we won't really understand it until we are able to live with our loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ again. 

I been thinking about this concept for a while now..just because..finally, my life is going the way I planed again. Finally, I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. After all the times that I, myself asked Why, I finally understand why. 

We have all been taught so many times in life that our trials we go through makes us stronger, and better. But one other thing that we gain from our trials is knowledge, and what I like to call "smartness." (haha...)

I have always said, and totally believed that during our trials, we always come out stronger. But this time... I did get a lot stronger, but I have gained sooooooo much knowledge. So many things that I have learned, and finally understand. All the times, and different ways that I have asked and cried 'why', is finally making sense, and being answered. Finally...everything is falling into their perfect place. =) 

And isn't that the answer at the end? After all the time we spent on asking the never ending questions, wasting effort and minutes from our lives...we all eventually get our answer somewhere, some place. And that answer usually comes when things are finally working. They won't come when it's at the hardest place of your trial...because that won't help you! We have all heard the saying~ 

"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime..." 

Even though we are not fishing, this same principle applies to trials and answers. If He gives us the answer during our trials, then we aren't really learning anything. But if he gives us the answer at the end, then we come of the trial with a lesson learned. And it's that, and only after that, when we are taught the lesson we need to know for our future. =) 

Well, anyways...now that I have wrote a whole lecture on answers and trials, I want to turn back into your life. What has happened lately? Are you going through a trial where you just want an answer to right at this instant, and you are going crazy because you aren't getting one?? Well, that is okay....Give it time! =) You'll get there! I promise. 

And the only reason I promise that is because I have been through it. I have just learned this exact lesson! I have asked all of those questions, and finally, I mean FINALLY, I have got some answers. Not all...but some. Enough to make me understand what I need for the coming times, and to prepare me for the coming trials. And one day, somewhere down the line...that will happen for you too. =) Trust me! 

Try your best to remember that you don't need all of your answers right now, right here in this instant. Give it time. Be patience. Keep going, pushing, and enduring. Because by doing that, I promise you one day, you will find that answer you are looking for. =) 

Try your best....to be your best! because as always... I am. =) 

It's been a while....

Hey guys!! It has been a while since I blogged huh?? You want to know why?? 

It's because I finally got a JOB!!!! 

Isn't that so great?? I am finally making money...(at a very small amount...)and providing for myself! It is making me feel like a real grown up! 

This is how I feel today! =) 

Oh...speaking of growing up, it was my BIRTHDAY on August 3rd!!! =) It was such a wonderful day, and now I am another year older! Meaning I should be one year more mature...which I am not...but still. It was a really good day...I mean....a really really good day. Glad 

Okay...going back to my job. =) Which I am really thankful for by the way...I am now working at the Cafeteria in the Missionary Training Center in Provo, UT. =] 

Meaning I get to feed all the wonderful missionaries that are going out into the unknown for two years, just to serve and do the Lord's work. Isn't that just amazing?!! I have always loved missionaries, but I think this job is really making me appreciate them a lot more. 

One of my favorite things about this job though..there are more then one...=)...is that when I am serving the wonderful missionaries their meals, I am also serving the Lord. I am in a dedicated ground of the church, where his presence, and spirit is sooo strong! 

I mean, there isn't a lot of jobs out there that can say that. (I mean, all jobs can do that, but not all jobs are in a dedicated building of the Lord...even though all of the other jobs are so amazing also...don't take me wrong..) And because of that, I feel so blessed to have this job. I feel like even though I am working, I am actually giving service to this world, and to the world of this wonderful, all loving gospel. 

But it's definitely not my favorite or dream job in this world, and sometimes it actually quite frustrates me. Even though that is true, I am very grateful for this experience, and new part of my life. =) 

Beyond anything...I just feel like with the way my life is going right now, I have so much to be thankful and grateful for. So many things that are finally starting to line up again. In so many ways, I have been soooo blessed without even realizing it. 

love. so true!

But that is okay. Because now that I see it, I am going to do my best to never forget it. I mean...how can I? I am reminded of how much I am blessed with each and everyday over and over again. And that is what I love most about my life right at this moment. 

And forever. Through all the good times, and the bad. 

 I hope you love your life too! =)   

Because I love you! Have a great day! 

A story with a lesson...

One day, I arrived at the far away place name Sandy..where my family lives. It's a great place. =)  I just finished another week at the wonderful fairytale land of Provo, and was ready for some family time, and relaxation. Haha...that turned out to be a joke...because the house decided to throw a temper tantrum, and stop working... 

The first thing I usually do when I arrive back home is to go to the fridge, open the door, and see what there is to eat...yes I know...eating is everything in my life....haha...Expecting the fridge to be nice and cold, I was surprise to find that it was quite warm. It was so warm, the butter was starting to melt... and as much as I know about household appliances, which isn't much...I realize something was seriously wrong with it. haha...go figure right?? =)

Anyways, because of that, I went on an adventure (which means going up the stairs, avoiding all the bags, fighting through all the clothes laying around the floor, and finally arriving into the study room) to find the queen of the home, which is my mother, and was told that the fridge has been broken for a whole week!! One whole week!! Isn't that crazy? (I don't know how I can survived without a fridge for a week...but you know...i guess it's possible...heehee..) 

So, without a choice, I decided it was acceptable to spend a couple of days without a fridge...it was a close fight...but i finally convinced my can't-stop-eating alter ego that it was okay....haha. But that gives us another problem. there was no way to keep food in our house! 


I mean, not overnight anyways...so we had to come up with really creative ways to cook dinner, and frankly, it was quite a lot of fun. I don't think I will ever do it again, but you know...it was fun. =) But just as I was getting use to the idea that I won't have a fridge for the weekend....there came another problem!! (Just when you know what's what....haha.) 


...On Monday morning, I woke up just like any other day at home, and started to clean around the place. I got to the point where I needed to put things back in the 'right' place, which meant going down into my wonderful basement. But on that morning, there were something different about the basement. It was wet. Now, I don't know much about carpets, but I do know one thing: They aren't suppose to be wet...


So, once again I had to go on another adventure to find out what was going on with my basement. I finally found the source of the mysterious wet carpet! It was coming from the water boiler...the water boiler which holds 40 gallons, 40 GALLONS of water. Um....That is A LOT of water!!! No wonder the carpet was wet.... Not only the carpet, but everything around the leaking boiler was wet...clothes (that always seem to be lying on the floor in our house..), boxes, shelves...and everything else around the place. So needless to say...that was A BIG PROBLEM. 


Since NOBODY else was home during that crisis, I was left alone to fix the problem. And trust me...it was no easy work...but don't worry, I semi-prevented the basement from flooding. =) Which was really impressive if you knew what, and how much I actually had to do. Turning off the gas (which fueled the fire), stopping the water, and a lot of other...stuff. I was really quite proud of myself....still am. Not prideful...just proud. =) 


But with all of that..happening just within couple days of each other, I learned something. Even though I am quite sarcastic about the whole situation (especially now since it is all over with...), it was actually quite serious and tense during the whole craziness. 


Even though it wasn't the most wonderful time, this whole adventure made me realize exactly two things: One, I need to have a little talk with my house, and tell him that it's completely inappropriate to throw a temper tantrum like this (haha..never again okay house?...), and Second, We don't really realize what we have until it is gone. 

I never really realize how important something like a fridge is in our lives until one day it stops working. Or the loveliness of hot water until we are taking a shower in freezing, breathtaking cold water. It's something small, and something we usually don't think about, but when we lose it, we wish sooo bad to have it again. And that doesn't only count for small things like fresh food, and hot water....it counts for EVERYTHING in this world. 


In our lives today, we have so much that we take for granted. Day to day things like television, cars, and grocery shops, all the way to deeper relationships with others.The relationships in our lives can't take for granted. Our family situations, with brothers, or sisters, parents, all the way down to our friendships with roommates, co-workers, neighbors, or even a significant others. When we have them, we are so happy, and content. But we don't really understand how important those relationship means to us until one day we wake up, and it's not there.


But why do we always wait until it is too late? Until we wake up and feel that pain? Isn't there anything we can do to prevent that from happening? To make us see how much we actually have in our lives, and cherish it there and then? Why wait until it is too late? I don't want to! I think that is a stupid idea! So...lets find a way to prevent that from happening...

Coming back to the story of my fridge and water boiler, those problems weren't something we couldn't of avoided. There were things we could of done for it. Check the refrigerator fan every once in a while so it doesn't build up with dust until everything is clogged, or go down and make sure the fire isn't too hot on the boiler so it doesn't make a crack in the metal! Just the little touch up things to make sure everything is working in the most perfect condition they can be. 


It is the same way with relationships. Every once in a while, instead of taking a relationship for granted, cherish it. Do something to make sure others know that you care about them. Give them a hug, or a nice note. Tell them you love them, and care about them. Make sure they know how important they are in your lives. I am sure if it would of made a difference, I would of told my boiler how much I loved him before he decided to throw a temper tantrum... =) BUT don't only love the good and perfect parts about them. Love every single flaw and imperfection they have too. Because the relationship isn't only about the good things, it's about BOTH the good and the bad. It's about (as always...) EVERYTHING. 


Our lives is a gift, and the wonderful people and things we have in it is the treasures that makes life so wonderful! Sometimes we just fall into a pattern in our lives where we don't really realize it. But don't let that happen to you! It's not fun! Actually, it pretty much sucks! Take it from somebody who knows what she is talking about...because I had more painful adventures other then the one with my temper throwing house. =) Don't let something that's wonderful, and meaningful just slip from your finger tips because you forgot, or didn't want to see how important it actually was in your life. 


I been through this, and I don't want anyone else to go through the pain I had to. So please...take care of those relationships you have around you. Don't let it be something that you regret. Let it be something you hold on, and cherishes forever. Relationships don't come easily, and once you have them, with anybody, hold on to it tight, and make sure you never ever take it for granted. =) Make sure you know, the other person know, and all the other inanimate objects know how much you appreciate, love, care, understand, and cherish them. Because that right there...is everything (or close to..) you need in a great relationship. 


Try your best to remember everything you have around you. Love everyone, and love everything. Don't let something that could of been avoided become part of something you regret. Everything you have around you is a gift...a wonderful treasure. Treat it as such. Try your best, to be your best. Because, as always, I am. =) 


With all my love,
Q2