The magic of small miracles... =)

Okay, so I know I've talked about this before, but because of how big an impact the small and simple things had on my life this week, I decided I was going to blog about it again....so here goes. =) 


Have you ever had your day made just by simple small talk with your roommates, or a kind and loving hug from one of your good friend? Or just share a quick smile with a fellow student during class? It could even be something like when a nice gentleman or lady opening for you. For me, those tiny little things are the ones that matter the most. 


Over the last week I've realized that as we go through life, there are so many things we have to deal with and fight through. Because of that, we tend to forget the tiny little things that makes our lives a little better, and a little happier. We face all kind of decisions and all kind of trials, making it hard for us to see how much we actually have in our lives. We go through our days, being bogged down by all our responsibilities, we forget to see what truly should make us happy. 


Just for me, take some time right now, and start to think about your week. I know...I know what you're thinking.."oh no...she's making me think again!" But seriously..just take a moment. What has happened in your life this week? Was it a hard couple or days? Did you have a lot of stress, and times when you were feeling down? If you did, what did you do about it? Did you just let the negative feelings fester and eat you up, or did you started looking for the small little positive things in your everyday? 


And while you're thinking...I will keep talking. But keep thinking. I will come back to this question...

This week for me, there were so many times where just a small action of service or love totally made my day. It was quite a confusing week emotionally, and academically. I kept looking around me for some big miracle to come in, sweep me off my feet, and fixes all my problems. But of course, since this is real life, that doesn't usually happen. So, I got quite upset and annoyed as the week gone on. It got to the point where I just broke down crying, wondering why 'everything' was going wrong. 


It was at that moment when I realize that 'everything' wasn't wrong. I mean sure, life wasn't going quite as planned, but hey, it wasn't going 'wrong.' What was wrong was my attitude and thinking towards the problem. I was so focus on wanting a huge miracle, I was blind to all the small miracles around me. 


So, I decided to stop what I was doing, sit down, and write down 10 things that made me smile and a little happier that day, and here is the list:

The sun was shining

There was Beautiful weather all around me

A warm hug from my awesome roommate

Laughing with friends

A great time at lunch

A loving conversation with my sister

Productive class time

Homework was all done on time

Delicious Ice-cream to make my belly happy

and a very Comfortable bed...

(granted, i was laying on bed while writing this list..) 

I love happy lists... =) 

You might look at this list, and see that everything is very simple, and usually doesn't make much difference at all. But for me, right after writing down this list, I felt 10 times happier. It wasn't because all my problems was solved, because obviously it wasn't. I felt happier because I suddenly realize that there was a lot of happy things happening in my life. They were small things, but really, who doesn't like a warm hug, or a nice bowl of ice cold ice-cream? They were just small and simple things, but really, after thinking about it, they were the only things I needed to make my day happier, and better. 

I finally realize that when life gets hard for me, I always start looking for some big magical solution, so that I wouldn't have to go through the headaches and pain of overcoming the trials. But that usually doesn't work. Because as always, that isn't how life works. 

There usually isn't a big happy magical solution that just comes in to gather our problems and trials, and just throws it all away. That wasn't how Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father designed the world and the Plan of Happiness. To gain the happiness from the promised plan, we need to go through the big, scary trials, so we can grow and become our own workers of magic and miracles...figurative speaking. But really, when we fight through our trials, we understand how to overcome them, so that when the next trial comes, we can have those beautiful magical powers, and fight through that easier and better then the last time. 

But we don't do that by just preforming this big magical act. We do it by small and simple things. There is a great scripture that I love: 

It's a great quote, and it is so true. By the small and simple things in life, we bring into our lives happiness, and clarity for us to bring about the great things we can all accomplish and have throughout our time here on earth. 

So, now I am coming back to you. What has happened in your life this week? Did you spend time looking a big miracle, or did you spend sometime looking at all the small things that made you smile, and a little happier? Was it really that bad of a week now that you took sometime to think of all the small act of kindness around you? I hope it isn't. I actually hope that in the last 5 minutes, your week actually became lighter, happier, and brighter by thinking about the small and simple things.

This simple picture makes me real happy..
How about you? 

There are soooooo many things around us that can just make our total day. And there are soooo many things that we can do for others to make their day or week. So lets try to be a little more open to see the kindness others gives around us, huh? And let us be a little better at giving happiness and strength for people in their lives, so that they can see the light and beauty that the small and simple things can have in their lives. 

I hope that this post could of open your eyes a little bit more to the wonderful, small, and simple things in your life. I hope that you will try a little better to not be bogged down by the lack of big, huge miracles in our lives. I hope you can try your best to enjoy the small and simple things within all the big scary trials and bumps we call life. =) Try your best, to be your best. Because as always, I am. :) Love ya'll! 

Love,

Q2

There are no coincidences..

Okay, so let me give you guys some background information as to what I am talking about tonight....

It should really say:
Caution: Bumpy Life ahead...

Over the last couple of months, things just haven't been going too smoothly. I mean, just because you see my smiling every day at school or church doesn't mean my life is just dandy and perfect! (which I am sure you realize, and understand because we all have our own trials... =/) But slowly, things have been getter because of a couple of things. 


Number 1: I am actually making some decisions on my own now, and owning up to myself after 18 years of being too selfless.. (trust me...that can really happen...) 
Number 2: I have been so blessed with so many amazing people and friends in my life. All of them have done so much for me, no matter if the act was small or big. I don't know what I have done to deserve them, but I just feel so lucky to have so many amazing people around me all the time!
Number 3: I have started to rely on the gospel more then I ever had before. Especially over the last month or so. I kind of been getting pretty bad at going to church and stuff, but I have been making a lot bigger effort to go, and I have found the Love I have been missing for so long. I can't believe for the last 2 semester I decided to see if I can just do things on my own...because the obvious answer for that is: NO! 


So ya, those are the top three things that have been making such a big difference and change in my life right now. And I am actually going to talk more in detail about the last two...

So you know that movie "Kung Fu Panda"? It's probably one of my favorite animated movies of all time. It's funny, interesting, exciting, and it teaches a couple of valuable lessons. Two of my favorite lessons from the movie is to never ever give up, and that there are just no accidents or coincidences in life.

I love Master Oogway! 

Lately, the one guidance from the Panda movie that has stuck out to me the most is that there are no coincidences in life. I mean sure, not EVERYTHING in life has a purpose or meaning, but some of the time for the most important stuff, they all happen for some reason.

Think about your life for a minute. Are there people or experiences in your life that has just changed you, or affected you in a way that you would of never imagined? I know that for me, there certainly has. There has been people that has come into my life in the last couple of months that has just helped me so much to grow as a person, and a Daughter of my Heavenly Father. 


Over the weeks just before winter semester ended, and during finals, I needed so much support and strength just to get through each and everyday, and thankfully, there was always someone there for me. I just have so many wonderful friends, and a family that is always there to give me strength, and to support me in times of needs. Whenever I needed a smile, a hug, or just a listening ear, someone was always there. It doesn't matter what time of the day/night it was, or if they were busy, I could of always counted on them. And because of that, I couldn't have gone through the rest of the semester without them. And I Know Heavenly Father knew that too.


He loves me so much that he'll put people in my life that could have brought back the light into me, no matter how hard life still is. It wasn't a coincidence that my I got to know and become close to my friends when I did. I truly believe it was meant to be. I have gained such a strong testimony over the last month of how much our Savior and Heavenly Father actually loves us. 


There was a time where I didn't really believe or understand the love that our Heavenly Father and Savior has for us. But now, more then ever, I understand and truly believe that he does. I don't have the strongest testimony, but for this one doctrine, I know of it's truthfulness. They love us so much, they will do anything for us to get back with them again. Things that happens in our lives that change us, mold us, and support us to become a better person is the doings of our Heavenly Father and Brother. There are no coincidences for things like that. I know that to be true. And I think that is just so freaking amazing! =) 


It is so cool to realize that no matter what happens, there is a plan for all of us. Our Father above really knows each and everyone of us personally and individually. Isn't that just so cool? He put trials and hard times in our paths to make us stronger, but during those hard times, he also gives us help and support by sending us to the places we need to go, and giving us the strength that we need by putting the right people in our lives at the right time. 

There are so many people who just crosses through
our life every single day. Sometimes it's just
meant to be, and others not so much.
but either way, whenever, or where ever they come,
they always leave foot prints. 

And like always, that works the other way around. We never know if we are put into somebody else's life just to help them out with something they are struggling through at that exact moment. Heavenly Father always has his children here on Earth to help each other out, in whatever way that they need. And if we are in tune with the spirit, and opening ourselves out to other people, we can really be a great example to other's lives, and become a big part in their support system. 


I know that our Heavenly Father loves all of us so much; it is at a degree beyond our imaginations. Every human being that has ever lived on this earth is truly loved and care for by our Father and Savior above. No matter what they have done or accomplished in life. I know, trust me, I know that there are trials and hardships in each and everyone of our lives. But that is okay! It is because they love us that they give us challenges to walk and struggle through.

"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that...polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain." 

~ Richard G. Scott

Things might not seem the best right now, or later in the future, but no matter what happens, it will all turn out for the better, and you will become such a better person because of it. When tough things happen beyond your control, just remember that it's because He feels you are ready to grow, and become the Son/Daughter He knows you can be. And if you only trust in him, you can do things beyond your wildest imaginations. 


Look at all the people around you. See all the changes that has happened in your life. Open up your eyes to see all the support and strength around you. Not only the support you having your life, but the support that you GIVE for other peoples lives. Because once you realize the blessings you have for others, you will see and understand the blessings you get from them in return. I know that no matter what, there is always people, and experiences all around us that is giving to us by our Heavenly Father above, just to guide us and to strengthen us. There are just no simple coincidences. 

Love! =) 

I am not saying that just because you found a penny on the ground, something amazing is going to happen, or stuff like that...no, that isn't what I am saying all. I am just saying that we all have things in our lives that are just meant to be. People and experiences that are truly there just for us to help us in the exact way that we need. And the most awesome thing is that we can also be there for someone else, in the exact way that they need to be helped and supported. 


I truly believe this, and I truly love it too. It makes me want to try my best each and every day to be there for someone else, and to be part of their 'coincidences..' I hope you will too! Try your best to never forget the love our Savior and Heavenly Father has for us. Try your best to remember that no matter what is happening, everything is going to turn out great at the end! I love you! Just try your best in everything that you do. Because as always, I am. =) 


love,
Q2

The reasoning of Sacrifices

What a week! It has been completely crazy, and ridiculously hard. You think that since I am done with the long semester of winter, spring would actually be easier! But NO! It turns out that when you think something is going to be simpler, and easier then before, it actually gets a whole lot more complicated and harder. Who would've ever thought?! 

I just completely love this quote!
And I have definitely follow it's counsel a lot this week!
=) 

One of the things that made this week super hard was having to learn the lesson of how to sacrifice something, for something better. I know we have all heard that phrase before, and how we should always make the best choice that is available for us, but that is one thing that is easier said then done. 


I faced a very hard choice this week, and since I suck at making decisions, it was just a great experience!! (insert sarcasm here...) It was a choice that was going to affect how the next couple semesters are going to proceed. It was definitely a decision that I didn't see coming. One of those experiences that life throws at you, expecting you to solve it on your own, with no warning or help whatsoever. And those are the worst...at least for me. 

Which path do you wanna choose? 

Have you ever had to make a decision where everything seemed logical, and the action that you take from that choice would be the 'correct' thing to do, but it just doesn't feel right to you? Like a time where you had everything figured out, but when it actually got to the part of doing it, things just starts to feel wrong? That is how I was feeling this last couple of days. I had to make a choice between two options in front of me. One of the options is something I really WANT to do, but the other one was something that I felt like I NEEDED to do. It was like I was getting pulled from both sides, one left, one right, and I just can't win either way!!! 


When I actually got around to making the decision, I realized how much I was going to be sacrificing for it. There were many things for myself that I needed to put on hold, just so I can do what needed to be done.  And I wasn't quite ready for that. I felt kind of weak, and non-important, because even after all the effort I went through just so I can make a decision that was 'right' for me, at the end, when I came out with my answer, it seemed like it was wrong! It just felt like the other option would have been better too! So in the end, I just couldn't win! And it was at that exact moment when I realize something: 


Sacrifices are so hard! Even if it's small ones. Whenever we make a decision that includes giving up something for something else, that's a sacrifice, and those for me, kinda sucks. Making yourself, or letting yourself let go of something that somehow belongs to you hurts, it's an experience that always leaves a scar behind, no matter if the sacrifice was good or bad. It doesn't matter if it's a sacrifice for yourself or another person. As a matter of fact, sacrifices are rarely just for our own gain. It usually a time when we had to give something up from ourselves to help another person, or to make another situation better for someone else. 


Think about yourself. How many sacrifices have you made in your life? What decisions or experiences have you been through in the last couple month or year that included having to give something up, no matter for your own sake, or for somebody else. How did you go about it? What feelings did you have when you went through that? If it was anything like mine, I bet it didn't feel that great. I am totally confident that the choice or sacrifice you made in the end was the correct and right one, but I am also 97% sure that there were some pain and sadness involved with it too. 


So how can we go about doing it? What if making a choice that involves you to give up something else that you feel should be important too? What do we do when we get into a position where we just have to choose the path with the LEAST amount of sadness and pain? How does one go about choosing a path that still includes pain and scars no matter what? Even if the ending does have a positive affect for ourselves and others? I mean, to sum everything up, how does one go about sacrificing one thing for something or someone else? 


The answer to those questions from me is that I DONT' KNOW. If I did know, I wouldn't be sitting here writing this blog post trying to find out what to do with my life. But there is something that I do know, surprisingly. And that is that no matter what, it doesn't matter if you and I know how to go about doing things, all that matters is if our Heavenly Father and Savior knows. And the obvious and right answer for that is: Of course they know!!! 


The King of all Sacrifices in life is our loving Savior and brother, Jesus Christ. He made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us. As he was kneeling in the Garden of Gethsemane, I promise you he wasn't having any fun at all. In fact, as he was going through all the pains and sins of the world for us, he even asked the Father to take the bitter cup away from him. He was tired, and he was hurting. There was that shy moment when he didn't want to go through that ultimate and infinite sacrifice. But, because he is our Savior, and because of his infinite love for us, he ended that phrase to his Father with "Nevertheless not my will, but YOURS be done." 


And so it did. He suffer through all the pains and sins of the world, the humiliations from the Romans and Jews, and the very last and most painful experience: Crucification on the Cross. That was the ultimate sacrifice of all time, His life. And he did that for US! 


And now, as we think about that, and look at our own lives, is our sacrifices really that hard, and painful compared to our Savior's? And the answer to that is absolutely not! He went through more pain, and suffering that we can ever go through. Our Savior, the one that loves us unconditionally no matter what, went through the biggest pain, and fought through the hardest battle in the history of all human life. 

So I wanted to share this song. 

It's one of my favorite song about the saviors love,

 and sacrifice for you and me.

So what does that mean? It means that yes, even though our sacrifices are hard, it will never be as hard as our loving heavenly brother's. It doesn't matter what we are going through, or what choices we are making, or even what we are giving up; we know we can always rely on our Lord. As I always say, He KNOWS what we are going through. And he understands the pains of our sacrifices. So let him guide us. Give ourselves a chance to tell him, "but not my will Father, but THY will be done." He will never give us anything that we can't handle. All the choices and sacrifices we are making will all make sense in the end. And all we need to have for that happen is time. And patience. 


I really don't know if I have actually made the absolutely correct choice or sacrifice this week, but I do know that it will all turn out okay in the end. I know that I have tried my best to come up with the best solution, and this answer in front of me didn't just come from me. It also came from the Lord's help and guidance. Because He WAS  there for me. NO matter what I do, choose, or give up, the ending would be what He wants for me, and my life. And the same goes for you.

I love this quote! It gives me hope.
=) 

I don't know what's happening in your life right now, or what trials you are going through, but I do know that all human beings go through trials and sacrifices. We all have to make choices, and decisions during times where it requires us to give sacrifices. And I hope that no matter how hard those sacrifices or trials become, you will always remember the Lord's help and support. He is there, and he knows, and understands. He will guide you and support you through all your hard times. You just have to let him, as always. =) 

So this week, or whenever the next trial and decision comes along, remember that no matter what sacrifice you have to make, and no matter how painful and hard it will be, it won't ever be the hardest thing that was ever done. And you will never have to go through it alone. Yes, you will feel pain, sadness, and maybe disappointment, but you don't have to feel alone. Because our Lord, Jesus Christ, already went through His very own sacrifice just so we don't have to go through ours just by our lonesome selves.

"If what's ahead scares you and what's behind hurts you, just look above. He NEVER fails to help you."

I love you all, and I know our Savior and Heavenly Father does too. And I know that no matter what we are all facing, if we only but try our BEST, we can beat it, and win. I promise that. I know that even though choices, decisions, and sacrifices are hard, they will be worth it in the end, for you as the one that is making the sacrifice, and the other person who the sacrifices is for. And no matter what the situation is, we will have support through them all! Try your best to remember this wonderful and beautiful lesson during your hard times, because for me, I know that I will. And I am trying my best, right now. =) So you should too. 


love,
Q2

Bittersweet feelings...

Okay, so you know the feeling of bittersweetness...?? Ya, that is how I have been feeling the whole day. One minute I am super happy, the next I am just depressed, moping about my life. I haven't really been able to feel the joy and relaxation of the semester ending, or be able to focus on anything else other then the fact that my emotions are crazy.


I had no idea what is wrong with me until a couple minutes ago when I sat down to type a text to a dear friend of mine who left for home yesterday night. So now that I realize the problem, just like all the other times before, I am going to write it down on here so I can keep myself sane, and hopefully when you read this, you can learn a little something too. =) 


And the reason is that I am not ready to move on. Not only that, I don't know HOW to move on. I love it that my finals are over, and my apartment is finally cleaned, and my stuff is safely moved back into my home, but I feel completely lost as to where to go from here. I just barely finished 3 semesters up at BYU, Provo. 3 semesters seems like a long time, but for me, it passed by in a blink of a eye. This Friday when I woke up, I looked in the mirror, and asked myself "where has time gone?!" I had so many great experiences these past 9 months, I am just not ready to let it go, and continue onto something new. 


During the school year, I always had an idea of how each day was going to go. No matter how hard or long the day or week was going to go, I had a regular fitted schedule to follow. I wake up in the morning, get ready for the new day. Finish the homework I didn't do the night before, catch the bus to campus, and go to my classes. After my last class get out, go to library to do homework, ride the bus home, dinner, do more homework and studying, and hopefully end the night off hanging out with a friend or two. Sounds pretty amazing doesn't it? I love having a schedule, and knowing what each and every day was going to consist of..more or less. =)  


But now, I don't have a regular schedule anymore. It just seems like all of a sudden, the ghost of college endings came up behind me, and stole everything away. All that I have gotten used to, and all the new people that I have become so close to and love isn't around me anymore. I don't have a school schedule to follow, and I don't have my social life as it was like before. It really seems like I am that girl again from the beginning of the fall semester. Lost, and confused. But this time, it's worst because I lost something I truly fell in love with. Something that I thought i would never care for. Something that has made everything I've gone through the last 9 months all worth it. My wonderful College Life, including all of it's wonderful opportunity, and people. 


I know, I know,  it isn't gone forever. And I know that no matter what, everything that I have experienced over the last 9 months won't be gone. It will be forever in me, changing me and molding me. It will be the experiences that I will keep my whole life, and the knowledge I have gain from that past 9 months will never be gone.  

Love these people! =) 

Even though I know that in four months I will be living it all over again, it will never be the same. I can truly say, without a doubt, that these past 9 months has been the best 9 months of my life. I have made so many close friends with so many awesome people, and learned so many different lessons, it is truly a time I will cherish and love for the rest of my life. So now that it's over, what am I going to do? 


To tell you the truth, I really don't know. The ending came so suddenly, and someone somewhere just pushed the 'pause' button on my college life a little too soon. I haven't figured out where I am going, and what I am actually going to do. I haven't thought through my plans for summer, and how I am going to just keep peace in my family, and in my life. So many different decisions and choices I need to make, but i have no idea where to start.


It's sad, but sometimes, no matter in what situations we are in, we tend to feel a little lost. I know that for me, even if it isn't something as large as moving home from college, and starting something all over again, I still feel lost. Still feel like that no matter what new and exciting thing is happening, everything is falling out of control. And it's that feeling that I dislike the most. 


A couple days ago I was talking to one of my really awesome friends, and we just got onto the topic of how we feel like that no matter how hard we try it seems like our lives are just spiraling, and flying out of our control. Everything that we knew, everything that we have gotten used to is just gone. And we both don't like that at all. In fact, we hate it. It's a terrible feeling when you realize that no matter how hard you try, you just don't have enough strength or wisdom to control your own life. 

Scary!

It seems though, as human beings, we all like to plan out every single moments of our lives. We like to feel as we are in control. We tend to sit down and just analyze everything that has happened over and over again. We try to fix situations that we dislike, and change the future according to our will. And if we were in a fairytale land, usually things will happen according to our will, but we are not.  Here in the real world, the more we try, the more we fail. The more we think and analyze situations, the more confusing things tend to become. And sooner or later we just find ourselves sad, depressed, and tired about our lives because nothing is going 'as planned'. 


We have to realize that just because we want something to happen, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. Nothing is ever going to happen exactly as we 'plan' for. There will be changes, and there will be trials. There will be time when everything seems dark, and there are no clear direction of where to go. There are times when things are going out of control, and it seems like there is just nothing you can do. It's during those times when we just have to let our Lord guide us through. To just take a step back, and put it in his hands.

Plans for life?? haha....ya... 

My friend and I decided that no matter how hard it is, and how weak we feel about our lives, we just have to leave it at the Lord's will and strength.  We have to let the Lord guide our next move, no matter where it will take us. We need him to show us our next step before we can take it. Because if we try it on our own, we might as well be walking in the same step place over and over again. And sometimes letting things go from our control is even better then going in circles, never making any progress. 


Even though our lives is our own to live, we all want to make it the best we can. And in order to do that, we need the Lord's light in front of us at all times. We just need to realize that even though we really want something to happen right away, and in the exact way that we want it, it doesn't usually work out that way. He knows what is the best for us, and because of His love, He'll guides us to the exact place we need to go as long as we listen to him. 


Being lost and confused is a normal part of life. NO matter how much we hate it, and how much it scares us, in the end it will just make us better people. I know that even though right now everything seems dark, and the road ahead of me seems scary, it will all be okay. We might not know where we am going now, and we might not like where our lives are at, but if we only trust in the Lord, he will give all of us a way out. He will show us the next step. We don't have to do that for ourselves. Because in the grand scheme of things, he has already done it for all of us. 

I know that no matter what you are going though, you will be okay. I truly believe that. No matter how hard it is to remind myself of that, I know that to be true. As I always say, the Lord doesn't give us anything that we can't handle. Most of the time I forget that too. I don't remember the positive side of things. It's during those times when the world seem especially dark. But when I do start to remember the Lord's help and strength, it gets so much easier.  And I hope you will remember that too. 


Seriously though, I know that I will miss every single part of my college life in Provo. I will miss all of my friends, and all of the freedom I had. I can't believe I am saying this, but I am sure that I will miss all the work, and stress that comes with it too. =) I am just weird like that. I know that the next 4 months will be hard and scary, but I am ready to face it on. I am ready for the Lord to be my light. I am ready for him to show me the next step, because I know that no matter what happens, or how strong I think I am, I just can't get myself to where I need to go next. 


So now, instead of holding on to the past, I am going to let it sink into my memory forever. I am going to love it and cherish it. but I am also going to start looking forward, and try my best to let the Lord guide my way. Instead of always trying and pushing for my own way, I guess I will just let the Lord pick me up, and get me where I am needed to go. In the end, no matter what I think or want, it just doesn't matter. All that matters is what He thinks, and where He wants me to go.  And you know what? As hard as that is, I think I will be okay with that. 


I hope that you will try your best also to remember the Lord's light when you need it. Let him guide you. Let him help you. He wants to. He is right there. Just step back, and let him take hold. =) Don't try to push against him, because whenever we do, we always lose. To be happy, we just need to let Him take charge, and show us OUR next step. Whatever the trials and issues in your life, no matter how lost you feel, you are never lost beyond to Lord's light. Just try your best. Because as always, I am! 


Love,
Q2

Reaching the end...

One day left of classes. Then one week of finals. And then it's done. My 3rd semester of college would be behind me. Wow...That is definitely something to think about...and by 'think about', I meant to be completely shocked about. I can't believe I have actually gone through 3 semesters already! Where has time gone? 

I hardly remember the last 10 months. It all just seems like a blur to me when I start to think about it. So many things I have done, and so many different lessons I have learned. All the new and wonderful people I have met, and so many close friends I have gained. It truly has been one of the best times of my life. 

Tonight, as I was pondering the past months, I started to wonder how much I have actually grown as a person. What has changed about me? How has college affected me? Did I actually grow and become more mature? Have I become stronger then I was 10 months ago? What lessons I have learned that will affect my life forever?? 

I mean, 10 months ago I was shy, quite, and always just kept in my own little bubble. I was fine and contempt with doing what others expected me to do as a brand new freshman at college. I didn't try to make my own choices, and I basically let others run my life. I had little friends because once again, I was shy. I didn't know what to do because everything was brand new. 

And today, I look at myself, and I am really a different person. I have really changed so much without realizing it. I love to be outside my bubble now. I love talking to other people, even though if they are just strangers at a table. I have begin making my own decisions, no matter how much effort and stress it takes. I don't only do what others tell me to do. I have stood up for myself, and started to make changes so my life can be the way that I want it. I have learned so much just about myself in the last 10 months, it probably exceeds the amount of knowledge I have actually gained in classes! (jk...but seriously...it's crazy!) 

And I think that is just how life is suppose to be. We all learn different things every day. The fact is that of course I have grown! Of course I have changed, and hopefully I have matured a bit. That is what life is about! Changing, growing, and learning all at the same time. Having fun, gaining new friends and experiences, making changes about yourself, and keeping traits about ourselves that we actually like. Isn't that what we do as humans anyways? We grow and change every single day. And hopefully during each and every day, we learn something new that will help us in our future life. 

It doesn't just have to be college. It can be anything that we let into our lives to change us, and mold us. In every new experiences of our lives, we will all go through different things. And some of them might be hard. Some of them might be very painful. But nevertheless, they are the experience that will help us grow and become a better person. 

Look inside you. What have you gone through in the last 10 months? What new and exciting challenges have you experienced? What trials have you fought off? Have you let all of your new experience to shape you and make you stronger? 

I hope you have because as humans, we can never stay the same. That isn't the purpose we are made for. We come down here on Earth to grow, and experience life. We come down here to go through trials, test, and pains so we can become stronger, and more like our Heavenly Father above. We walk through the dark tunnel feeling our ways through the twist and turn, just so we can reach the end, step in the light, and for the first time truly see who we are. 

Can you see the light?

Isn't that just so....awesome?? We might be here right now on this earth struggling, not knowing where we are going. It might be that when we are here on this planet, and hidden from the full view of our lives, we just feel lost. We might not know what His plans are for us, but what we do know is that if we truly put our trust in Him, then He will guide us to where we NEED to go. He will help us gain the strength and knowledge we need to get back to Him someday. 

Our Father and Savior loves you and me SO much that they will only give us experiences and trials we can handle. What they put in our path helps us to learn, and to grow. It changes us in to a better person all the time. In the small section of that tunnel, when we get out of a dead end or a hard turn, we always come out different and stronger then before. 

That is the way that our wonderful tunnel of life works. It doesn't try to trick us. Because it can't. We already have the handbook of rules, we just need to open it up, read it, remember it, and trust in it. And that 'book' is the Gospel. It is our loving Heavenly Father and Savior. So trust in them. Know that no matter what, they will help us to be stronger, and help us change in the ways that will be the best for us. 

He loves us! =)

So right now, here on earth is our chance to make a difference for ourselves. Don't try to live every day in the same way! See opportunities where we could make a difference for ourselves and others. We have to go through life anyways, so why not make it the best that we can be? 

I know life is hard. I know I say that a lot, but it's true. But the greatest thing about it is that even though it is hard, in the end it will be totally worth it. I hope that you and I will be able to remember the love our Heavenly Father and Savior has for us. I am definitely not perfect at doing this. I need a lot of work too! 

But I know that by knowing, remembering and trusting that no matter what is happening, the experiences we have, and the changes that we make will only make us stronger in the end, if we only but trust in the Lord.

I know I have changed. And I truly think/hope I have changed for the better. And I know that you have too. Take some time. Think about it. Remember it. Try your best to be better at it. Let your life change you, mold you, and make you stronger. 

I love you! And so does our Heavenly Father and Savior! Try your best! Because as always, I am! 

Love,

Q2

Burdens of Life...

I can't sleep, and I have no idea why. I mean, I had a very exhausting day. So many things happened, and I had so much fun! But still, now it's 1 in the morning on a thursday, and I find that my ability to close my eyes and let my brain rest is zero. 


My mind just keeps on going 100 mph, thinking about every aspect in my life. Going through every single little detail, wondering if I am walking the path I am suppose to be in life. Asking myself if I am making the difference Heavenly Father wants me to make. Doubting over and over again if I am actually doing the right thing, and making all the right decisions. 

That is what I feel like right now..

Over the last couple of months, there is this big ballon of doubt, fear, and anger that is inside of me. So many emotions that I am feeling at the same time, always getting in the way of my regular day activities. I just get so overwhelmed, not knowing what to make of them. And I try so hard to communicate those feelings to other people, trying to somehow lift this heavy, and painful burden off of my shoulders. 


I talk to my friends, trying to explain my emotions to them, but somehow never really getting it out the way I want it to. To some, I can almost make myself clear, but there is always just something missing from what I tell them. No matter how hard I try to explain myself, trying to relieve my burden by talking, or getting advice, it never seems to quite work out. And every single time that I try again, it just gets harder and harder. I just have no idea why. Shouldn't it get easier to explain yourself after you done it once or twice? Apparently that doesn't work for me...


And what is even worst, sometimes I feel that when I talk to others, I am just given them so much of my burden to carry, and they are getting tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed with me. I know that isn't true, because they love me, and care for me, and I love them and care for them, but still. Sometimes, I have to get annoying right? (Don't answer that..) 


So what can I do? How can I get this heavy burden off my shoulders? What else can I do in my life to maybe get things in a better order? Who can I talk to that will understand everything that I am going through, and will know how to help me? Who else can I turn to that have perfect understanding of things, and infinite love?? And then it hit me. 


OF COURSE! I have my loving Heavenly Father, and Savior there for me! They are always there to give me a helping hand. They are always reaching their hand down to me, just waiting for me to reach up, and take it. 


I finally realize tonight that all the talking, and thinking I have been doing with my friends and myself isn't making that big of a difference because I haven't been adding the Lord into it. He is the one that knows all things. He is there to give me strength. He is there to listen, and to understand, because He has been through it all. He knows everything I am feeling, and pain that I am going through because of that. He doesn't need me to explain to him. He already knows. 


Even though my friends give me a lot of help and support, it doesn't make much difference if I don't add in the infinite power of God and the Savior, and learn trust in him. He is the one that understands without me having to explain it. He loves me no matter what, and He will never ever get annoyed or tired of me. He loves me way too much for that. (Not saying my friends don't, because they most certainly do. They love me, and so many of them has made such a difference in my life. But still, they are all human, just like me.....) All I have to do is to reach up and take His hands. 

He not only loves me, but He loves every single person that ever walked his earth. His love is infinite, and eternal. It never changes. I know that all of us have trials we fight through. It's just the fact of life. But just remember that He LOVES YOU. He is there right now reaching his hands down to you, waiting for you to just reach up to him. He is already prepared to take that backpack of burden off your shoulders, and put it on his own. Let him.


The Savior sacrificed himself just so he can be there for us. He died for us so we can live with him and Heavenly Father once again. He went through all the pains and sins of the world so he can understand everything we are going through. His ever atoning sacrifice lets him understand our feelings, and pains. And because of that, he will always be there to help us through whatever we need. 


Never feel like you are alone. Never feel like that he has forgotten about you because He most certainly hasn't. He knows you, your name, your favorite things, and everything you are going through. He knows it, and he knows what you need. He knows what I need. You don't need words to communicate with your Heavenly Father and Savior above. They already know.


Now it's just up to you and me to take their offered hand, and let them guide us through. Life is scary. Life is hard. It sucks. It's the truth. There are always good things, but inside with the good, the bad is there also. And it's during those times where we have to turn to Him, lay our burdens at His feet, and let Him help us through. 

"Remember that when life gets too hard, and we get too weak to stand, kneel."

I can't only ever rely on my friends or family to lift my burdens, because quite frankly, they can't. No matter how much they want to, because of their love, and care for me, they don't have the ability to. I don't have the ability to lift their burdens for them, no matter how much I try. And I certainly don't have enough power to lift my own. But Heavenly Father does. And so does the Savior. They have powers beyond our imagination, so lifting that heavy backpack would be so easy, and simple for them. All we need to do is ask. Get on our knees, pray, and be faithful. Reach up and take his hand. That is all it takes.


So next time when life gets too hard, or tomorrow when you wake up, get on your knees and ask for his guidance. Remember that he is there to help YOU through anything. All you need to do is reach. Try your best to remember the love of our Heavenly Father, and the Savior. Because knowing and understanding their love can make all the difference in the world. I am starting to understand that, and now, I am going to try my best to live up to that. I hope you are too! I hope that no matter happens, you can find the strength you need to get that heavy burden off of your shoulders. 


love, 
Q2