I just needed to sort out my thoughts today, so I decided that I am going to write a blog. Writing this blog is always one of my favorite therapeutic activities. I realize that writing to an audience always makes me see things clearer, and understand more of my own thoughts. So, today, instead of going crazy in my own brain, I am writing it all out.
 |
| AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
One of the major stress in my life right now is FINALS. I am so freaked out about it. I mean, this is my first real session of college finals, and I really don't know how to go about it. I am the kind of person that wants to do and finish everything perfect. I don't let myself accept second best. I mean, I never done something half way, and then give up because it is too hard. I always push to the end, and make sure I have done my best, and that everything is as perfect as it can be. Now, this is a great way to drive a person crazy and insane because nothing can ever be perfect. So if you are trying to find a way to live your life, this is not something you want to start doing. Trust me.
Anyways...back to finals. I don't know how to try my best on this because I don't know what I need to study for. I mean, I know everything in the class, but to what level? How deep do I need to go, and how much do I have to spend on it? I don't know if I can accept the results of the test if they come out horrible, because I won't have a chance to go back and have a second chance for a better score. I mean, that is what scares me the most. I won't be able to fix my mistakes after the finals. They are stuck for the rest of my life, and I won't have a chance to make it perfect again. I know it sounds silly, and impossible for me to be perfect in life, but a illogical part of me always try to make it perfect. Which is a very bad thing. I think it is mostly my perfectionist personality that causes me stress. Not finals themselves. So, I will have to find a way to calm down before they start.
 |
| Isn't that picture peaceful? |
Another thing that is also causing me stress right now is my confusing about human nature. Over the last few weeks, I have had many instances where I felt so confuse about what humans do, and why. I mean their actions towards other people. Why is there need in this world for people to be mean to each other? Why do we have to argue, or be defensive? Why can't we be a little more selfless, and care about each other. Why is it that some people only cares about themselves, and only do things for others if it benefits them also? Doesn't that bug you? I mean, one of my biggest goals in life is to be nice to everybody. Isn't it better to be known as the nice girl, other then the rude person that everybody else is afraid of? I mean, it only makes sense. You have seen those movies. The ones that has the mean bully that wins in the beginning, but at the end of the show, the other characters just got tired of them, and won their way out. The bully comes out the bad guy, and the nice, weak characters comes up on top being the hero. I rather be the Hero. I sure don't wan't to be the bully that everybody hates.
Okay, so I am talking about this because I have had a couple experiences over the pass weeks where a person came to me, and was purposely rude to me, and I am totally sick and tired of it. I mean, they weren't even trying to be nice. They were out right mean. And I was so offended. I don't get mad at other people often. I mean, it takes a lot to anger me, so this was really bad. I didn't get mad at them though. I just stood there and smiled, and remember a quote that I found a couple weeks ago. It made me smile, and I stood there and took everything this very rude and mean person was doing to me. I put the quote right below. I hope you can read it, and if there is somebody out there rude to you, just remember, they are the sand-paper, and you will be benefited by them.
 |
| :) |
BUT! If you are being rude to others, STOP! It doesn't do you any good in the end. And you don't want to regret things at the end, because it will be too late for you to do anything about it. And this leads me to the next thought that I have been pondering over this week.
What do we do as human beings? I mean, we live on this earth, and every single day we have the same routine. We have experiences, trials, and happiness. We learn new things, and over come hard things. We make new friends, and new relationships. We accomplish goals, and learn from our mistakes. We gain an education, get a career, and start our own family. It is a lot of things that we do, and during all of this, we HAVE to seize every moment of it. Ever single moment is special. It passes, and then it is gone. Time is treasure. As humans, we never know what is going to happen. Everything in the future is a mystery to us, but we don't want to miss any experiences during the present. What we have is now. As Kung Fu Panda says it,
"The pass is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is call the Present."
Things always happens at our least expecting moment. We don't know what will happen, but we do know what is happening right now. We can never take anything for granted. Time is a treasure and we have to cherish it. One day pass by quick, and after that 24 hours, you can never gain it back. You don't want to regret at the end of time because there were things that you never did, or things that you wished you could of done better. Don't have regret in the end. Try your best now, so later as time has passed on you don't have to say "I only wish...." I know I have point this out before, but I feel like I should say it again, because this concept has become a very big part of my life recently. I have learned to cherish time, and everything that comes. Because nothing stays the same, and one day is just one day. Nothing else. So don't let it waste. Nothing is set in stone, and nothing is ever promised for us in the future.
 |
You aren't promised tomorrow, so don't forget to cherish life.
And to love others because you might not get a chance tomorrow. |
I know I said a lot of things tonight. None of them really connect with each other. They are just random thoughts I had in my head. But these thoughts has been in my head for a while, and I needed them out so I can focus on studying. But really. After you finish reading this, I hope you understand what I was taking about. Don't be a perfectionist. That is never good for you. Don't be rude to other people. Try to be nice, and be the hero that comes up on top. And most of all, cherish your time. Don't have regrets in the end. Try your best to do everything, but just don't try to be perfect at it. Which is completely different from doing your best. :) Haha....Well, now I feel a whole lot better. I hope you decide to go throughout your day, and try your best at everything that you do. :) Because I am. I will just have to stop trying to be perfect. :) Thanks for taking 5 minutes out of your day and reading my blog. Writing in this blog always makes me feel better, and knowing that you are reading it makes me even happier.
 |
| So, Thanks for listening/ reading my blog. |
LOVE,
Q2
