Burdens of Life...

I can't sleep, and I have no idea why. I mean, I had a very exhausting day. So many things happened, and I had so much fun! But still, now it's 1 in the morning on a thursday, and I find that my ability to close my eyes and let my brain rest is zero. 


My mind just keeps on going 100 mph, thinking about every aspect in my life. Going through every single little detail, wondering if I am walking the path I am suppose to be in life. Asking myself if I am making the difference Heavenly Father wants me to make. Doubting over and over again if I am actually doing the right thing, and making all the right decisions. 

That is what I feel like right now..

Over the last couple of months, there is this big ballon of doubt, fear, and anger that is inside of me. So many emotions that I am feeling at the same time, always getting in the way of my regular day activities. I just get so overwhelmed, not knowing what to make of them. And I try so hard to communicate those feelings to other people, trying to somehow lift this heavy, and painful burden off of my shoulders. 


I talk to my friends, trying to explain my emotions to them, but somehow never really getting it out the way I want it to. To some, I can almost make myself clear, but there is always just something missing from what I tell them. No matter how hard I try to explain myself, trying to relieve my burden by talking, or getting advice, it never seems to quite work out. And every single time that I try again, it just gets harder and harder. I just have no idea why. Shouldn't it get easier to explain yourself after you done it once or twice? Apparently that doesn't work for me...


And what is even worst, sometimes I feel that when I talk to others, I am just given them so much of my burden to carry, and they are getting tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed with me. I know that isn't true, because they love me, and care for me, and I love them and care for them, but still. Sometimes, I have to get annoying right? (Don't answer that..) 


So what can I do? How can I get this heavy burden off my shoulders? What else can I do in my life to maybe get things in a better order? Who can I talk to that will understand everything that I am going through, and will know how to help me? Who else can I turn to that have perfect understanding of things, and infinite love?? And then it hit me. 


OF COURSE! I have my loving Heavenly Father, and Savior there for me! They are always there to give me a helping hand. They are always reaching their hand down to me, just waiting for me to reach up, and take it. 


I finally realize tonight that all the talking, and thinking I have been doing with my friends and myself isn't making that big of a difference because I haven't been adding the Lord into it. He is the one that knows all things. He is there to give me strength. He is there to listen, and to understand, because He has been through it all. He knows everything I am feeling, and pain that I am going through because of that. He doesn't need me to explain to him. He already knows. 


Even though my friends give me a lot of help and support, it doesn't make much difference if I don't add in the infinite power of God and the Savior, and learn trust in him. He is the one that understands without me having to explain it. He loves me no matter what, and He will never ever get annoyed or tired of me. He loves me way too much for that. (Not saying my friends don't, because they most certainly do. They love me, and so many of them has made such a difference in my life. But still, they are all human, just like me.....) All I have to do is to reach up and take His hands. 

He not only loves me, but He loves every single person that ever walked his earth. His love is infinite, and eternal. It never changes. I know that all of us have trials we fight through. It's just the fact of life. But just remember that He LOVES YOU. He is there right now reaching his hands down to you, waiting for you to just reach up to him. He is already prepared to take that backpack of burden off your shoulders, and put it on his own. Let him.


The Savior sacrificed himself just so he can be there for us. He died for us so we can live with him and Heavenly Father once again. He went through all the pains and sins of the world so he can understand everything we are going through. His ever atoning sacrifice lets him understand our feelings, and pains. And because of that, he will always be there to help us through whatever we need. 


Never feel like you are alone. Never feel like that he has forgotten about you because He most certainly hasn't. He knows you, your name, your favorite things, and everything you are going through. He knows it, and he knows what you need. He knows what I need. You don't need words to communicate with your Heavenly Father and Savior above. They already know.


Now it's just up to you and me to take their offered hand, and let them guide us through. Life is scary. Life is hard. It sucks. It's the truth. There are always good things, but inside with the good, the bad is there also. And it's during those times where we have to turn to Him, lay our burdens at His feet, and let Him help us through. 

"Remember that when life gets too hard, and we get too weak to stand, kneel."

I can't only ever rely on my friends or family to lift my burdens, because quite frankly, they can't. No matter how much they want to, because of their love, and care for me, they don't have the ability to. I don't have the ability to lift their burdens for them, no matter how much I try. And I certainly don't have enough power to lift my own. But Heavenly Father does. And so does the Savior. They have powers beyond our imagination, so lifting that heavy backpack would be so easy, and simple for them. All we need to do is ask. Get on our knees, pray, and be faithful. Reach up and take his hand. That is all it takes.


So next time when life gets too hard, or tomorrow when you wake up, get on your knees and ask for his guidance. Remember that he is there to help YOU through anything. All you need to do is reach. Try your best to remember the love of our Heavenly Father, and the Savior. Because knowing and understanding their love can make all the difference in the world. I am starting to understand that, and now, I am going to try my best to live up to that. I hope you are too! I hope that no matter happens, you can find the strength you need to get that heavy burden off of your shoulders. 


love, 
Q2