Life..

See the time?? It is almost the exact time that i am writing this! 

Okay, so currently it is 1:18 AM Monday morning. I know what you all are thinking: "Why in the world are you not in bed QQ!" Well, the answer to that is I don't know. I can't seem to fall asleep. There is so many things on my mind, and I figured that I could either stay in bed all night worrying and not sleep, or I can write it all down so then I can sleep. Guess which one i chose? Haha!! So, here is what on my mind:

Over the weekend, many different things happened. A lot of opportunities have came to me where the question "Who do I want to be, and where am I going" came up. I been thinking about that a lot this week. It seems like everyone that I trust has asked me that question. And for a girl who usually know how to answer questions, I am totally stuck on this one. I always thought I knew where I am going in life, and what I wanted, but since college started, my thoughts have been kind of challenged. 


Everyday we wake up in life, and just go on to do our daily routine. Get up, get ready, eat breakfast, and head off to school. Try our best not to fall asleep in class because we are college students, and we don't sleep at night. Take notes on what our teachers are telling us because we KNOW that it will be on a exam pretty soon. Try to find out how in the world are we suppose to finish all our assignments and exams on time, because it seems like they never end. I mean, it's normal. But during any time that day, do you stop and ask yourself "Hum me, with everything thing I am doing in life, what do I really want to accomplish?? What do I really want in life??" 


You might have asked yourself that question, but I just realize that lately, like over the last year, I really haven't stop and asked myself that question. I don't really know. I mean, I just try to survive day to day. So many things happen in one day, where I have to solve everything that life throws at me, myself, and I.  For me, I just didn't realize that in order to have a goal in life, I have to stop and really think about what I want.  So this week, I did just that. At first, I really had no idea, but over the last couple of days, I have figured out some major things that I want in MY OWN life. 


I have figured out the following: I want to graduate with my bachelors from Brigham Young University. Then I want to move on to get my P.A degree. I know that I want to meet an loving and caring young man to marry me in the temple of my lord. I also know that one day, I want a family of my own. I know that I want to be the kind of person that someone will trust and look up to. I believe that one day, I can take all the money I have earned as being a doctor, and help the children in Africa. I want to be able to provide medical care for all those that needs it, but can't afford it. I want to save a life. 

A world full of opportunities and decisions. :)

That is all I have figured out. As you can see, there are many gaps in that list of mine. Many important decisions in my life that I haven't figured out yet because I can't. That is something that I just barely figured out as I was typing this. I might have plans and goals in my life. Things that I want to accomplish, and things that I have planed. But then there is my Father above that also have plans for me. He gives me trials and rough spots so I can grow, learn, and make my own decisions. I might think that I know what I want to be in life, and how I want my life to go, but I can't control everything. 


It is a very hard concept for me to understand. I mean, I think that all of us like to be in control of our lives, and most things around us. But there are somethings that can't be controlled. I can make decisions about my life, and how I act on them is something that I CAN control. But there are many things out there that I can't. I know have some idea what I want in life, and how I want it to go, and whether or not it happens is in my control, and my Heavenly Father's. 

We all have our lives at the Control panel, what we do with it makes the difference. 

So in the end, I guess my point is that we might not think about what we want in life, or how it is going to go. But it is something that we eventually have to figure out, and when we do, we have to learn what is in our own personal influence, and what is not. If we don't accept that, I don't know how much we would appreciate life, or even understand it. :) I still have lots to work on, and many things to figure out. I hope one day I can truly accept the concept of what I said today. Just because I said it, doesn't mean I can do it. But I am trying my best. :) Are you?? :)


With all my love,
Q2